I ordered three Christmas gifts yesterday.  All three were and are marked in stock.  All three say I can get them tomorrow if I order now and select one-day shipping.

So what’s the expected shipping date for my order?  November 26.  What the hell?  Come on, Amazon.  You always do this to me.  It’s like we have this abusive relationship.  You treat me like crap, but I always come back because you’re such a charmer.  Why do you treat me so?